Celebrating Women of African Descent

Too Single To Mingle

Dear Ladies,

I have just come out of a four month old relationship. The relationship ended because the guy mentioned something to the tone that I’m ‘too independent to be in a relationship’ and he couldn’t deal with that.
I find a bit of truth in that knowing that the last time before this relationship, I was single for 3years. I guess in that period I became too independent. I was busy with my life, family and friends, school on the side and work that having a viable relationship wasn’t really high on my list.
I’m so used to getting things done by myself but I realize that sooner or later I want to be in a relationship, to be able to share my life with someone else. Right now I’m so scared that I have been too single for long that I won’t know how to fit another person (a man) in my life. Help.

Ms. Too Independent from Ghana

Songs have been written, women have chanted their ‘I got my own!’ mantras, what are your thoughts on being ‘too independent’ as we help ‘Ms.Too Independent’? Leave a comment.

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • >


  1. uhmmm guys naturally are providers and women are nurturers…so anything that looks like it is going to even slightly alter that esp. them being the providers poses a question in their minds. they want to feel like they are ones doing it even if u gat your own. so, let him be the man in the relationship…

  2. I don't really think there's such a thing as being too independent. I mean if you've been single for one year or three years, you're not being too independent. you've just gotten used to being on your own, you forget what being in a relationship is like. it's happened to me when at times i might ask myself, "Crap, it's been so long since i was in a relationship, do the same rules still apply? Do i call him or text him? and if i do, after how long? i think this is when you lay your cards on the table..be upfront with the guy, i mean you've been single for a while and your still getting used to the whole idea of being in a relationship or dating. If he's a stand up guy,i think he would understand. Life's too short for you to not to be assertive…

  3. Well…the truth is men love to be in charge; they want their women to look up to them; they want to be the first person she calls when she's in trouble or needs help; they want to fix their woman's fears.Some of us learnt independence from our mothers…"don't depend too much on any man"…they told us. It is a conscious effort you have to make. let your man know that you have "dependence" issues and you need help. Once he sees that you are ready to change and are asking for his help, it'll become a challenge for him to help you out. Men love challenges.But it takes time and conscious effort

  4. It takes a balance,well crafted one for that matter, when it comes to relationship,there can be s'thin that borders too much or too little. I say give the man a chance to be the man in your life,His ego lies in the part where you let Him be the man.Let your independence rule you as an individual but not so as a couple,when you become a couple,its not about I anymore in singular but we as plural'lol,great article all the same,at some point some of us can relate…

  5. You can be too independent for your own good,but if you are going to be in a relationship,how about this…you can separate your relationship from your individuality in that way you can work with both,it is the healthy alternative,you don't have to make your relationship your existance coz when you are stripped from it even for one minute,you lose yourself and identity and you can't be so into yourself that you forget you are both in the relationship where you need each others needs either,it does take a balance….

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>