• MAN TALK
    • MARRIAGE 101
    • FAITH


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

Time flies, can you believe we are already past the half year mark? Just the other day we welcomed the New Year with long lists of resolutions. Well, the year doesn’t feel so new anymore, it’s that time of the year when energy levels sink, we get sucked into the routine of life and many times become complacent. All these are symptoms of Mid Year blues.


Posted by Editor On JULY- 18 - 2011

Growing up, I was a ‘someday girl’. I had dreams of someday publishing a book, someday working for a newspaper, someday being an editor, someday. Until one day many years later I woke up to the realization that someday was today; the only assurance we have, not 2 years from now or tomorrow but today.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

For some April habitually brings in to mind Spring; sunshine, blooming flowers, the green of trees and sliding into flip flops. For me, April is just April because luckily where I live the beauty of ‘Spring’ and getting high on Vitamin D is something I experience every day.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

As I kid, one of my all time favorite TV shows was 'The Jefferson’s'. As I write this, the theme song is playing in my head. “Well we’re movin’ on up, to the east side, moving on up, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Moving on up, to the east side, moving on up,we finally got a piece of the pie.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

February is a special month, apart from the red roses, boxes of chocolate, great deals and the romance, it’s also the month we celebrate the history and contributions of African American men and women to society in the name of Black History Month.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18- 2011

Happy New Year!Yes, I know I'm a little late on the wishes just like the way I'm late with our new January Issue but it's finally here. New year, new layout, new name, basically, new things. Its all about the new new! For all those who knew this blog as The Ladies Room, I now introduce you to AfroElle; a blog for women of afro-descent from all over the world.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

The year has literally flown by, I can't believe it's already December. To many, December is a month of in depth self evaluation and stock taking; taking that walk down memory lane to see if you accomplished the goals you set at the beginning of the year.It's also about looking at your present to see what has worked for you or what you need to eliminate before you head on to the new year.

Editor's Note; In Brief

Posted by AfroElle On 6:08 AM 0 thoughts
painting by Frank Morrison
"Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That's me."
~Maya Angelou
Have you realized that even the most beautiful woman finds fault in her body shape or size probably wishing there were parts that were smaller, leaner or prettier. I know I do. Sometimes I feel I need a little here and there. Well, this week in the Ladies Room we talk about women and body image.
We get to read from the lovely ZimRose from Zimbabwe as she talks about 'Introducing Ourselves Again' about being proud of how we look on the outside and embracing our bodies.
We also get the views of career driven men as they answer the questions of what attracts them to women, if beauty really is a big deal and their thoughts on the little flaws women obsess about, in 'Round Table Discussions.'
You also get to hear from Mrs. Dale's love story on how she met her husband and how how married life is so far, in our segment 'How We Met'.
The Ladies Room; a place of release and comfort, of hearty conversations and open arms.


It's interesting how God can place you at the right place at the right time to meet your match. That was the case of Anthony and Doreen Oloo- Dale. The couple got married in the U.S on May 28th 2009 and had their intimate Kenyan wedding on August 8th 2009.

Here is their story as told to me by Mrs. Dale.

Meet the Mister

In a few words; Anthony Dale is a God fearing, extremely mature, intelligent, loving, patient, considerate, humble, sexy, romantic guy I have ever met and the greatest company. He is the best thing that has happened to me in my 25 years of living.

Meeting Anthony

Anthony and I met at an apartment complex where we both lived. He lived on the 2nd floor and I lived at the first floor. We often passed each other and always exchanged Hi's. One day, on a bright Saturday, I saw him standing outside by his car playing with his cell phone, I went outside and he invited me out to an orchestra in Washington, DC on Memorial Day. It was a day that changed both our lives.

'The One'

Women are blessed with a discernment spirit. Once you write down what you want in a man and know exactly the kind of man you're looking for, it won't be hard to recognize that man, when you meet him. Anthony had everything I ever prayed for or even imagined in a man; both on the outward and inward. Of course, my family loved him too, which was a plus.

Every Step of the Way

Events leading up to the engagement included serious talks about everything pertaining marriage; kids etc. We dated and in that time got to really know each other. One day, on our way to visit a friend in Delaware, Anthony proposed to me. It didn't come unexpected but it sure came as a surprise. He had once said he would not propose to any woman before she met his parents. Well, I guess he couldn't wait, he proposed to me before meeting his relatives.

With all the negativity that has been said about marriage , so far what is your opinion about marriage and any other advice you would like to give women, newlywed or otherwise?

Marriage can be anything you want it to be. You can choose to be happy and enjoy every part of it, or you can choose to be miserable.

1. You marriage has to be built on certain fundamentals/ foundation. For Anthony and I, it's Unconditional Love, Respect and Unselfishness. Our fundamental family scripture is 1st Corinthians 13:4-13

2. Communication is key. Don't make any assumptions. If you are not pleased about something, it's better to talk it out and clear the air.

3. Choose your battles!! Some things are not worth bringing up. Sometimes you have swallow your pride and let it slide if it's going to work better for the sake of the relationship.

4. We have promised each other that we will not go to bed angry at each other. We have a 4 hour rule. i.e none of us will bring out an incident that's 4 hours old. If you're not happy about something, you better iron it out within 4 hours, otherwise, shut up and let it slide.

6. Go out of your way to meet your partner's needs. Do the things that your partner likes even if it doesn't excite you. Anthony likes walking, site seeing and basically visiting different places, on the other hand, I love chilling, staying indoors, resting etc. We go out of our ways to get involved in what the other person enjoys.

7. Don't let the spark or romance die, the chase continues. Go to the movies, dinners, find things that both of you like doing and engage in it. Doing things together that will continuously build your relationship.

8. Marriage is a beautiful thing…so enjoy it and love more.

The couple will be celebrating their one year anniversary this month. We wish them all the best in their marriage.

Want to Be Featured On A Love Story?
Are you a bride and you would like to share your story and your wedding/engagement photos?

Then email me at [email protected]

Looking forward to hearing from you!

The older you grow the more you learn about life, others and more importantly you learn who you are. Over the years I have grown, shrunk, stretched, evolved and become. I have my feelings, thoughts and mind which have grown and matured with me. Through the journey of my life I have carried my body through the folds of life and this body has been faithful .Come to the other side of me the side I have a love /hate relationship with, my body.

Do I love my body? At times .Do I hate my body? No .Am I smitten with it? No .So what am I with my body? Let’s say we are at peace, for now. I am neither the first nor the last woman who will be ‘frenemies’ with her body.
All women share a few things in common but the one thing that we each face is a hang up with our bodies. Big thighs ,big tummy ,flabby arms ,big bum ,the list is endless .No one can define why we have these hang ups and no one can give us the soap box speech on why we must adore and embrace our bodies. From a very young age we are bombarded with pictures of what a pretty little girl must be like, we are thrown into a turmoil of feelings and perceptions we have of ourselves. We live in a time where looks seem to lead at the head of the pack above character. Young girls grown up enchanted with size 0 models and thus begin a vicious cycle to become the standard .They do not seem to understand that as they are they are perfect. I want to clearly say this to women all over the globe, your body is you .It defines you, it carries you, it is the vessel that you are given to do what you need to do here and now.
It’s amazing that we are so oblivious of this that it takes a man to at times validate your stretch marks and love handles .I love the way men see the female form they adore it and they love it .They love the arch of your breasts, the softness of your skin, the rounded hips, the shapely bum and the legs that deliver the whole package .Some of you are outraged at this but they love the body that’s that. One friend pointed out how unattractive a woman with hang ups with her body is .That was the day of my repentance.
I have never been a size 8. I grew up with the perception that there was really nothing I could do about this body. After meeting boys and realizing that they would be very interested in this body I discovered diets .Yes every crazy diet I read up on and tried a few crazy ones. I have popped a diet pill, have done the Beyonce diet and have tried starving myself thin. Has this worked? NO. It does only when I discovered that you can work yourself trim not thin that it all made sense.
So what’s my point .Ladies stand up, look into a mirror and reintroduce you. Look at your body and be absolutely fascinated by it. Appreciate every curve, every bump and bit of it .It takes a lot to realize that the only person who validates your beauty is YOU. This will ring a bell with others and to some it will be the venting of a fat girl but you know what when I look in the mirror the last word I have to describe myself is FAT . I refuse to be stereotyped, boxed in and labeled. Hell no, I broke free from that mould the day I stood in front of a mirror and fell in love with myself all over again. Nobody can love you like you.
Ladies and Gentlemen I introduce my body to you smooth, curvy, strong, soft, dimpled and sassy .Get up there girl and embrace that body.

My name is ZimBlackRose . Proudly Zimbabwean, proudly a woman and proudly GOD's DIVA.

I believe women should embrace who they are,their flaws and their worth .They need to come to the reality that no man will ever give them the love that they do not know they deserve .Being a DIVA means you are Destined for greatness ,in touch with who GOD wants you to be ,Virtuous because you know that your body is a temple of GOD and Anointed -set apart and full of GOD's glory .

So every sister needs to get up and realize that 'YOU' are a DIVA ,GOD's best ,HIS little girl and nobody can ever do you like you .

You can check out her blog The DIVA Chronicles - Life and Times of a 20-Something

Have anything to share with us. Feel free to send in your articles to [email protected]


 Of Men, Attraction & Women’s Body Image

Do these questions sound familiar, ‘Do you think am fat?’ or ‘Should I gain weight some weight? Most women are known to have concerns about their body image. Yes, even the most beautiful woman finds fault in her body shape or size probably wishing there were parts that were smaller, leaner or prettier.

For some its easy to get over the flaws and accept the way they look, for others, these insecurities are crippling and can affect relationships.

In this week's ‘Round Table Discussions’ I caught up with seven career driven gentlemen from different professions and age asking the same questions about women, attraction and if they really care about the little flaws women magnify like cellulite, baby fat, body size etc.

                                                Meet the Guys

Norman, 29 yrs, Economist, Uganda, (In a relationship)

Johnnie, 27yrs, Country Manager, Logistics Company, Uganda (In a Relationship)

George, 28yrs, Project Manager, Telecoms Company, Kenya (Single)

Creas, 39 yrs, Engineer, Los Angeles (In a Relationship)

Joel, 25yrs, Desinger, Uganda (Single)

Ben, 25 yrs, Professional Blogger, UK (In a Relationship)

George K, 28yrs, Creative, Kenya (In a Relationship)

1.   What attracts you to a woman?

CREAS: Appearance not necessarily looks, but the whole packaging. Like dressing style and manners.

NORMAN: Several things attract me to a woman. A woman who is at a certain level of independence emotionally, financially and otherwise. I will be attracted to a woman who has 'swagger', mean a woman who is sure of herself, her confidence levels are high, but then pride does not exist within her. And she must be caring, ‘how i love a caring woman, since care comes with a big heart.  You know the small things do matter so much. I am down for such a sister.

GEORGE: Intelligence, great sense of humor and a grasp of world affairs. Better if she loves reading. Best if she writes.

JOHNNIE: First of all it's the looks. Attitude and character come in later. I mean you can never see one's character on the first meeting. Am also attracted to very confident women. Confidence in speech, walk and actions.  

JOEL: Godliness, beauty, depth, fun and Companionship

BEN: I think there are 3 things; firstly their sense humor, then passion and finally their confidence

GEORGE K: Beauty; I have to notice you to be interested



 Do looks matter?

CREAS: Yes looks do matter, it comes with appeal. It is not all and all but it does help.

NORMAN: To a large extent looks do matter. If I enter a place, my eyes will rove around, and believe me, they will settle on the beautiful girl/s in the room. So whenever I have approached a girl, first its been because of her looks, then other factors come in. when we start communicating then I judge the character.

GEORGE: Yes they do. She doesn't have to be a designer baby-girl but pretty does it.

JOHNNIE: Yes they do. A lot. Guys and other ladies shall always respect a man in company of a beautiful lady.

JOEL: Beauty is what usually draws a man to a woman. However, character is very essential because a woman who does not respect her husband or man will lose favour with him.

BEN: I think looks matter initially, but it is nowhere near the most important thing in the relationship

GEORGE K: Yeah looks matter. That's why girls spend countless hours adorning themselves. Some guys care, some don't.

3.Do guys care about a woman’s body size and things like cellulite, baby fat and a the little flaws the way women do?

CREAS: No, not like women think they do, Men sleep with anybody the good the bad and the ugly.

NORMAN: Yes guys care about that lumpy fat.... It should be fought with all it takes.

GEORGE: Being in telecoms cellulite sounds like cell phone to me so could it be a good thing? Well, never heard of anyone dumped coz of cellulite. Few men do.

JOHNNIE: What is cellulite?(lol). No I don't care about cellulite. Doesn't everyone have cellulite?

JOEL: I could speak a book. It is because of men that women do what they do.  Women should primarily work on their character not their boobs. I may be drawn to you because of your beauty but I will stay with you because of your character.

BEN: I don't think a lot of things matter to guys as much as some women think - seriously though, no.

GEORGE K: Africans don't care, the fleshier the better. Some like me do. Cellulite puts me off in a way.

Ladies,now you that we've heard what the guys have to say,what do you think? Do you think men put so much pressure on women and their looks yet they fail keep up?

Ladies have any questions for the men, feel free to drop in your thoughts at [email protected]


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AfroElle is an online destination for women of Afro-descent around the world.AfroElle's overall aim is to provide content for black women around the world and for them to find empowerment and encouraged to lead fulfilled lives through this magazine style blog.
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