• MAN TALK
    • MARRIAGE 101
    • FAITH


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

Time flies, can you believe we are already past the half year mark? Just the other day we welcomed the New Year with long lists of resolutions. Well, the year doesn’t feel so new anymore, it’s that time of the year when energy levels sink, we get sucked into the routine of life and many times become complacent. All these are symptoms of Mid Year blues.


Posted by Editor On JULY- 18 - 2011

Growing up, I was a ‘someday girl’. I had dreams of someday publishing a book, someday working for a newspaper, someday being an editor, someday. Until one day many years later I woke up to the realization that someday was today; the only assurance we have, not 2 years from now or tomorrow but today.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

For some April habitually brings in to mind Spring; sunshine, blooming flowers, the green of trees and sliding into flip flops. For me, April is just April because luckily where I live the beauty of ‘Spring’ and getting high on Vitamin D is something I experience every day.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

As I kid, one of my all time favorite TV shows was 'The Jefferson’s'. As I write this, the theme song is playing in my head. “Well we’re movin’ on up, to the east side, moving on up, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Moving on up, to the east side, moving on up,we finally got a piece of the pie.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

February is a special month, apart from the red roses, boxes of chocolate, great deals and the romance, it’s also the month we celebrate the history and contributions of African American men and women to society in the name of Black History Month.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18- 2011

Happy New Year!Yes, I know I'm a little late on the wishes just like the way I'm late with our new January Issue but it's finally here. New year, new layout, new name, basically, new things. Its all about the new new! For all those who knew this blog as The Ladies Room, I now introduce you to AfroElle; a blog for women of afro-descent from all over the world.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

The year has literally flown by, I can't believe it's already December. To many, December is a month of in depth self evaluation and stock taking; taking that walk down memory lane to see if you accomplished the goals you set at the beginning of the year.It's also about looking at your present to see what has worked for you or what you need to eliminate before you head on to the new year.

Showing newest 5 of 9 posts from December 2010. Show older posts
Showing newest 5 of 9 posts from December 2010. Show older posts

Editor's Note: Taking Stock

Posted by AfroElle On 1:40 PM 4 thoughts
Dear Readers,

The year has literally flown by, I can't believe it's already December. To many, December is a month of in depth self evaluation and stock taking; taking that walk down memory lane to see if  you accomplished the goals you set at the beginning of the year.It's also about looking at your present to see what has worked for you or what you need to eliminate before you head on to the new year.

Just the other day I started this blog as an avenue for women from all walks of life to talk about their daily achievements and struggles and to encourage each other through interviews , features and discussions. That was in May, six months later and this blog has grown in terms of content, readership and interaction.

I have enjoyed compiling every issue of The Ladies Room and in the process met ,interacted and networked with great individuals. With growth comes room for bigger better things. It is my desire to keep you coming back to The Ladies Room. I'm looking forward to bringing to you more diverse, empowering and entertaining issues in the future, but for now let me give you a preview of the eye candy inspiration in our current issue.

On the cover of the December issue we feature US based part-time Kenyan model and broadcast journalism student Bornah Adanya Anaelik. Inside the issue, learn more about the 'No Means No' anti-rape campaign under the leadership of Adelaide Onyango. Share in The Rojas' love story of how they met and learn how Chinelle Rojas copes with being an army wife. Get up close and personal with Rwandese author, poet, human rights activist and motivational speaker, Ornella Umubyeyi and find out why this 20 year old believes wisdom and humility are the true keys to success. Get inspired by 'powerful poetic words' of Tanzanian born UK based poet Jacque Kabacha also known as Pretty Poet.

Join the round table discussion with three ladies who are talking about their experience with online dating. Share your thoughts on Tyler Perry's latest movie release 'For Colored Girls in our reviews. Learn more about the sisterpreneur behind Etnah's Jewelry and get tips on what you need to know if you want to start your own business. December is the signature month for office parties, family gatherings and celebrations, fashion designer Claire takes us through a Do.It.Yourself tutorial on how to make a 'Little Fascinator'.

It's my hope that you will enjoy this month's issue. The Ladies Room cannot be a place of open arms and hearty conversations without you. I look forward to your comments, suggestions and articles. 

Happy Month of December!


Featured Cause: No Means No Campaign

Posted by AfroElle On 1:22 PM 3 thoughts
According to recent statistics on rape submitted by Nairobi Women's Hospital, a woman is brutally raped every half an hour in Kenya the victims varying from old grandmothers to barely year old babies. A survey carried out in Korogocho ( a slum in the outskirts of Nairobi) by Ugamaan; ( a non governmental organization that helps rape victims) states that one in every woman is raped every year and over 70 per cent of the women had been raped at least once in their lifetime.

There are campaigns out to fight sexual violence against women. One such campaign is 'No Means No'; an anti-rape awareness campaign started by artists to create awareness on rape incident rates and educate people on measures to take after a rape incident.

We talk to the leader of the campaign Adelaide Onyango on the campaign's agenda, projects and progress.

Q: What inspired you to start the campaign?
Adelaide: I have close friends who have been victims of this crime. However, not much awareness and education on rape is being done and so I felt the need to help bridge that information gap.

Q: Who is part of the 'No Means No' team?
Adelaide: We have Goodwill ambassadors; Patricia Kihoro (singer, actress), Wendy Kimani (singer), Fena Gitu(singer), Nick Ndeda (actor and radio presenter), Nyambura Muthoga (model), Albert Minja(poet) and Kevin Waithaka(poet).

We create rape awareness through photography and videography and raise funds for the setting up of a safe-house for rape victims. The technical crew of the campaign would be Jenny Mungai, Jonathan Ochako and I. This is because we are involved directly in the shooting of the awareness video clips. We had to edit the scripts as some of them carried words that would have to be censored by the media hence loosing the 'real' and 'actual' effect the true scripts would have.

Q: What is the essence of the pictures and videos with stories on your Facebook page?
Adelaide: The stories are based on real women's rape stories who agreed to have their stories anonymously published as part of the campaign.

"13TH February, between the bus stop and my house. FOUR men. One grabbed me and showed me a knife. The three others lifted me to a nearby bush. Each one of them thrust inside me over and over and over again. The three men left leaving me with the one with a knife. He continued to rape me for hours. I wanted to kill myself since he’d robbed me of all my dignity – what was life without it?"

Q: What avenues do you intend on using to push forward your agenda?
Adelaide: The avenues we want to use are; online social networks and we have already created twitter and Facebook pages. This is because we can reach our core target audience who are the youth, since they are the main users of this medium. We also chose it because it has no geographical boundaries and hence the pages can be used as global forums where ideas on how to combat rape etc can be traded across countries.There is the local media, we have already received some coverage by the Nairobi Star newspaper and a new addition to the campaign is spreading awareness through giving talks in high schools which we are in the process of organizing.

According to a recent study,one out of twelve college aged men and women committed rape.
Q: What kind of support are you looking to get from the media?
Adelaide: From the media, we wanted to have our awareness video clips broadcasted on local television and the awareness photographs in local print media and also have the goodwill ambassadors on appropriate shows or magazines so as to carry forth the campaign's agenda to the public.

Q: Are you involving government in your endeavour? If so, any support given or pledged?
Adelaide: No. We have not involved the government or any government institution.

Date rape, also called acquaintance rape, is a non-domestic rape committed by someone who knows the victim. This constitutes the vast majority of rapes reported.
Male to Male rape incidents are steadily on the rise
although they are seldom reported
"Through NO MEANS NO, we learn to respect each other so much
that we eradicate rape"
-Nyambura Muthoga, Kenyan Model

Q: Are you working with any organization on the campaign?
Adelaide: Actually, in September we worked with HAWA LIVE and DIRECT (Muthoni the Drummer Queen and Dela) and brought BONDS OF AGES - a concert in Westage Cinema that spread the NO MEANS NO message.

Q: Are you getting any international help?
Adelaide: We have, through the setting up of the social online pages, made contact with people who support the campaign in the USA, Australia, Botswana, South Africa, Spain and Malawi. These supporters are gathering information, from their respective countries, information on: rape incident statistics as well as what the governments and/or independent institutions are doing to curb the high rates of rape incidents.

There is a rise in the number of rape incidents occurring in Colleges and Universities
Furthermore, some of the supporters are public figures in their countries (for e.g in Malawi, the supporter is musician TAY GRIN who has recently done a song with K'naan) they would therefore encourage their fans to join the global forum on the social networks. This has worked as in just a week the page had just about 1000followers.

Q: Is ‘No means No’ an international campaign and this is the Kenyan chapter or is it independent?
Adelaide: No, It is our very own campaign.

Q: What projects have you undertaken so far?
Adelaide: Just the concert at Westgate, And now we're organizing talks in various schools!.

" Rape isn't the end of the world. You are still BEAUTIFUL"
-Wendy Kimani, Musician

Q: What do you seek to achieve through this campaign?
Adelaide: We have these objectives: Educating people on issues around rape (what is rape, types of rape, medical actions to take after rape, legal steps to take etc) and Bring to the forefront the alarming rape statistics not only in Kenya but around the globe. In the near future, we want to hold concerts that will act as fund raisers for the setting up of a local safe house for rape victims.

Q: Are there any programmes in place to help rehabilitate the victims?
Adelaide: Under the campaign - no. However we will avail information to people on where they can go in terms of rehabilitation. This falls under the educating part of our 'game plan'. For example we have helped expose the KIMBILIO HOTLINE that is a toll free number for rape victims to call!

" We want a world where NO means NO!"
- Patricia Kihoro,Musician

Q: What do you want guys to eventually do so as to deal with this evil? Action points you are advocating for people to put into practice? Any specific ones to ladies? Any specific ones to guys? Parents? Leaders? 

Well, the global forums on the social networks will hopefully produce suggestions on this. However, personally, I want the campaign to produce a new strain of thought where people respect each other so much so that they do not violate one another theough rape. This goes to both guys and chics. To parents, though they aren't our core target audience, we want them to open up channels of communication with their children so that they can know of cases of rape early and children do not end up suffering in silence all because they cannot approach their parents. To the leaders, we want to show that this is a problem that is deserving of their attention through reform and legislation.

You can join the No Means No campaign on their Facebook page to get more information about this great initiative.

All photos and captions courtesy of No Means No Campaign


Featured Couple; Eddie and Chinelle Rojas

Posted by AfroElle On 12:54 PM 4 thoughts
Eddie Rojas and Chinelle Pierre met online through Myspace in August 2008. Almost instantly they became very good friends and agreed to meet in person by mid-September the same year. The Rojas tied the knot in March 2009

First Impressions

Eddie: When I first saw Chinelle, I thought she was so beautiful. I wanted to get to know her more. Once I did I learned that she was more than just looks, she was classy, goofy, and wasn't afraid to be herself.
Chinelle: From the very first message on MySpace, I knew there was something really different about Eddie. His approach was unlike anyone before. He was the perfect gentleman, but that wasn’t all. I quickly learned that he was a natural encourager and he wasn’t afraid to talk about the Lord.

‘The One’

Eddie and Chinelle: We don’t believe it’s ever about knowing that he/she is the one, but it’s about loving and trusting God and that other person, and taking a chance. Too many people are looking for the 'one'...when that 'one' is God. He should have the key to your heart, the other person has to go through Him to get it.

Road to Marriage

Eddie: One day as Chinelle was washing dishes, I remember standing on the opposite side of the counter just staring at her. I was so mesmerized by her that I told myself "I will marry her".
Chinelle : I knew Eddie was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with at our second meeting. I can remember a day we stood outside, talking to each other for an entire four hours; Eddie went to the door of his car and put something in his pocket. He walked to the back of the car, where I was standing and helped me onto the trunk of his car. Then he slipped off my shoes and pulled a small bottle of lotion out of his pocket. For the first time in my life, someone other than the people at the nail salon was massaging my feet, that is when I thought “he’s a keeper”.

Man after my own heart!

Chinelle: There are many, many things I love about Eddie. I love how much he loves the Lord. I love his heart to help people. He is an awesome supporter and the ultimate encourager. Many times, his vision for how far I can excel surpasses what I envisioned for myself. It’s wonderful to know that he has so much faith in whatever God has called upon my life. The thing I love the most about him though is the fact that he is such an amazing father to our son, even while he is deployed thousands of miles away from us. When I think about him in my life, I see just how much God must love me, because my husband is nothing short of a blessing.

It Takes Three Not Two

Eddie and Chinelle: The best part about marriage is the sense of 'family' that comes with it. It is a great responsibility and we would not trade it for anything in the world. It enhances your purpose in life! Marriage takes three period; God, the husband, and the wife. One of our favorite quotes is "A family altar, can alter a family". Everything else follows suit; good communication, trust, honesty, and love making. Marriage has taught us forgiveness. It is so easy to argue, hold grudges, be upset, and become complacent in marriage. It is true when they say "Unforgiveness in your heart is like concrete, it hardens overnight".

"Like it’s the Last Time"

Eddie and Chinelle: According to the bible, the bedroom is undefiled - so basically, do what you need to do in the bedroom without violating your vows or morals. We make our marriage fun by loving on each other like it's the last time! Alicia keys said it best.“…kiss me like you’ll never see me again”

"I wasn't exactly looking, but I knew Eddie was 
the one for me when he found me"

Army Wife 101

Chinelle: Being an army wife means that sometimes I don’t get to see Eddie that has taught me a lot in regards to love and marriage. It has taught me to appreciate the time we have together. It’s hard being away from my husband for so long, not just for me but also for our son Amari. 

Amari at birth

People are so quick to get annoyed with their spouse and want time, but when you are faced with having to go to bed and wake up each day alone, not by choice of your own, it makes you realize how petty we can get. It is true when they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I didn’t think it was possible to love my husband more than I did, but everyday that we spend apart makes me miss him and want to be with him even more.

Eddie, Chinelle and Amari

Being an Army wife [or simply a military wife], is not for the weak at heart. It’s requires even more responsibility since you have to be capable of truly being that support he needs even from thousands of miles away. You have to be capable of playing the role of a single parent juggling the house, school, work and the kids even though you do have a husband that is willing to help but can’t. It’s a sacrifice, not just for the soldiers, but for their families, that many people can’t even begin to understand.

"I was looking for a spouse who loves God- who seesmarriage and parenthood as a ministry. Someonewho knows how to be a partner, friend,counselor and my biggest supporter."-Eddie

‘Mark 10:9’

Eddie and Chinelle: We make our marriage work by living by certain scriptures since day one. Engraved on the inside of our rings is Mark 10:9 “ What God has joined together, let no man separate.” Marriage isn’t something you just make 'work' you have to remember that being married is work - hard work. It doesn't get easier when you say "I do." Realize what all your saying "I do" to.

Single folks, don't be afraid to take a chance - but make sure it's the right chance, so pray! Married folks, remember why you got married, and keep the Holy in your matrimony!

Are you married or engaged, do you want to share your love story? Send us an email @la[email protected] and we can feature you in 'A Love Story'


Phenomenal Woman: Ornella Umubyeyi

Posted by AfroElle On 12:35 PM 2 thoughts
"God didn’t place you where you are to be changed, but to be the change."-Ornella S. Umubyeyi

Ornella Umubyeyi is not your average Twenty year old, born in Bunjumbura, Burundi and the second born in a family of five, Ornella spent her childhood in Burundi and later on in Rwanda before moving to the United States on a Scholarship at the age of 16.

We talk to Ornella; a student at Ripon College in Wisconsin and the founder of 'Soul Surviours' Project' that aims to help orphans and children in Rwanda and around Africa with education.

To a stranger who is Ornella?

Ornella: I’m a lively, outgoing person who loves people. I live a life that tries to reflect Christ in me. I’m very social and I like to be around people. In my interactions I don’t try hard to impress people but to remain true to myself.

Ornella and Ethiopia and Senegal Representatives
at the National African Student Association Conference

Apart from being a motivational speaker, leadership trainer and mentor,what else do you do?

Ornella: Well, I’m first a student in College in the US. I’m involved in a lot of activities, I’m public motivational speaker, preacher, author, poet, photographer, preacher, author, Human rights activist, Leadership trainer and mentor and a counselor.

How do you juggle all these activities?

Ornella: Time management! Let me share with you the secret! See, many people think that you have to “find” the time in order to do everything you are supposed to do, but actually you have to “make” the time! When you wait to find the time to do a task, you will NEVER find the time, why? Because something else will always come up so MAKING the time through time management is how I juggle with all my activities.

You have published your own book, Life Beyond Sight, what inspired you to write this book?

Ornella: My main inspiration was from God! He inspired me to write this book and my foundation was His word; the Bible. We call ourselves Christians but rarely take the time to read the Bible, which is necessary. So God told me to write the book, to encourage those who still are holding on to Him to not give up on Him, since He hasn’t given up on us.

" Ornella Umubyeyi shows the power of a woman in a society.
She is an inspiration to me and I think that every young lady out there
should follow her footsteps. She is a leader to follow"
-Eric Bisong, CEO of Global Coalition for the Empowerement of African Youth

I also felt God using me to remind people that He works through anyone no matter the age, background, location or race. Being a Christian is not being ignorant and close-minded, but it’s more of being dependent on God while being independent in the world through your talents and gifts. Last but not least, to encourage the young generation, mostly Africans to READ! Reading is a way of educating yourself and a journey on discoveries.

“In her book Life Beyond Sight, author Ornella Umubyeyi has succeeded in creating an inspirational and effective step-by-step "how-to" book about life and struggle, based on a firm faith conviction, that is sure to provide guidance in taking control of one's life to encourage one to reach their full potential. Umubyeyi proves that the key to a good life is all about attitude and personal philosophy, especially if that life is grounded on biblical principles.” 
- Melanie Tomsons, Executive director of Never Again International – Canada

In a nutshell what is 'Life Beyond Sight' about?

Ornella: The book is about life through the eyes of a new generation from a Christian perspective. There are many books published by pastors, people with PhDs or researchers but very few young people who discuss about God. My book is about how we as humans have lost the real sense of life, we are not living life anymore, but life is living us! We call ourselves independent but yet, we depend on time, society, our jobs, and the media, money etc…that they have become our priorities while families, friends, our church families, our spiritual needs are not anymore. The book shows through different chapters; how what used to be important is not important anymore and what used to be less important is and the true disadvantages of that. I mostly focus on how Christians of today want God to work according to our will and needs but we never want to submit and give up our old ways of living.

Ornella with Ghanaian Dr. Ave K. Kludze, a senior NASA
Engineer who was profiled on CNN and BBC
for his outstanding accomplishments in Space Science and Technology

Ornella with friends
Ornella with her mother, sister and friend

Are you in the process of writing any more books?

Ornella: Yes, I am! I also have a collection of poems and quotations that my close friends have read, that I have shared with and really have encourage me to publish them while I also want to promote my photography work, so I might have a very unique book coming up! I am working on a book about Leadership which I have started last year! I am very excited about it even though it is not meant to be published anytime soon.

You are involved in a lot of community service projects, tell us more about that.

Ornella: I love PEOPLE! You cannot be involved in community service projects unless you love people! I have been involved with orphans since I was 16 and even though I grew up having parents, I still wanted to give them a chance to have a childhood they never had and make a difference in their lives. I still have that passion of helping and I normally visit some of the orphans I have helped, never stopped and some of the orphans I have helped as we have become friends. It’s just amazing really! It’s one of my favorite things to do; to be a voice to the voiceless; the best job and it's 100%satisfying!

Ornella's photography work

What are some of your upcoming projects?

Ornella: There are many! But some important ones include fundraising for two orphanages back home in Rwanda; one in Gitarama and one in Kigali. I am also working on starting a reality show to promote unity and tell the stories of the less fortunate and those with disabilities. I am also working on a script that I want to send to Hollywood by the end of 2011. But my upcoming My project is me hitting the gym every day.

Ornella donating clothes during a visit to Urukundo Village
Orphanage (an independent home for Rwandan Children)

What is your definition of true success?

Ornella: Ah! Good question, Wisdom and Humility are the two KEYS to a successful life! Success is not about money, because you might have a big home but you might not want to go home after work. You might have the highest position in your job or career but you are living a purposeless life. Wisdom teaches you to fear the Lord and that is the first step to greatness, and humility makes and give you respect wherever you go and have a peaceful life. I define true success by what’s with IN not what’s with OUT. 

It’s important, to know your purpose in life. Purpose means knowing what God has called you to be, because at the end, we are human BEINGS not human DOINGS, so true success is not about what we HAVE but who we ARE.

What is one thing you want the world to remember you by?

"Ornella is a spirit like no other. She knows how to relate to
every person she meets."
-Sera Lubowa,Miss Uganda, Singer and top model

Ornella: Hard question to answer but I will say that I want the world to remember me by my values and virtues, from what I lived by, not what I said. I want to be remembered as someone who lived to serve others, who lived by the word of God and reflected the image of Jesus through her lifestyle and her achievements.

Are you a woman making your dreams come true? A creative? Or do you want to share your story to encourage, empower and elevate other women? Phenomenal Women is the feature for you, write to us at [email protected]. We would love to feature you.


Round Table Discussion: Online Dating

Posted by AfroElle On 11:59 AM 2 thoughts
Times are changing and so are the different avenues of finding love. Gone are the days of arranged marriages and with technology we now have social networks sites to bring people together. So many people are embracing online dating. We gather at the round table with three women who talk about their experiences with online dating.
Meet the Ladies:
Cheryl 27,Minnesota, USA
Rose, 26, Nairobi,Kenya
Lena, 22, New York, USA

1.Have you dated someone you met from the internet or have you joined a dating website?

Cheryl: Yes I have dated someone on the internet, but not successfully, it had so many challenges.
Rose: I have joined dating sites and have been on blind dates and dated a man I met on Facebook and back in the day ‘Myspace’
Lena: I have dated 2 different guys that I met online, through Myspace.com. I am currently still with one. Yes, I have joined a dating website.

2.If you joined a dating website, what encouraged you to try it?

Cheryl: It was out of curiosity, some of my friends had tried and it was successful so I thought why not?
Rose: I wanted to try something new and see what this online dating thing was all about.
Lena: I joined eHarmony.com because I was bored.

3. Did you ever lie on you online dating profile or did your online dating partner lie?

Cheryl: I never lied, I just left out some information because I thought, they don’t have to know everything in the beginning but as we go along.
Rose: I never lied about who I was in regards on physical characters because I knew I would meet some of them and I didn’t want them thinking I was a farce. On the other hand I didnt exactly give out all the information in regards to my profession and location. But I’ve met guys who lied about who they are, like being taller yet they were shorter or what they did for a living. Some I’ve never met so I don’t know if they lied.
Lena: I didn't lie on the dating profile. I never contacted anyone from eHarmony.com so I don't know if anyone lied or not on their profiles.

4. Did you take any precautions the first time you went to meet your online date?

Cheryl: I did, for me the most important thing is not putting your physical address or contact details, the site was the only way to communicate. I also didn’t accept meet up dates too soon until I got to consistently be in contact and know you a bit more.
Rose: Yes, every time I went on a blind date with a guy I met online I would ask a friend to come along but to just be in the background just in case something went wrong. It’s always safe to meet in a public place and for you to have your own transport home.
Lena: I talked to my guy every day, almost all day, for a month before we met up. I was cautious. We met up in Manhattan at a bookstore, then proceeded to dinner and a movie.

5. What’s the down side of online dating?

Cheryl: Most people don’t look like their profile picture or they send you pics of people who almost look like them or they send you outdated photos of when they were younger. Most keep up appearances and even write down qualities that they don’t have. Have a lot of pretenses, everyone on the site is good until you meet them and you realize that they don’t even have good manners or are uncouth.
Some people are trying it for fun so its hard to get the serious ones, who are committed to a long distance relationship, there is a challenge of consistent communication, some check in after months and not willing to let you in on their daily lives making it difficult to establish a serious relationship. Some seem wonderful and real but you cant meet them sooner because thy live in othr continents or countries. Some are not available in real life, you will find that they are either married, in a relationship or engaged or married. Many want an online connection as a break from the real life.

Rose: I’d honestly say, most people lie about who they really are or keep up appearance just to be liked by the other person. Like when you ask for a photo, they send you a picture of their brother or friend, that kind of thing.
Plus once I got into the relationship with the 'Facebook' guy i realized the connection we had made online was different from the face to face. We connected so well through the screen but when we met, the conversation was dry.

Lena: The downside of online dating (assuming that the person is not close in proximity) is not having the physical component to a relationship. A lot of planning goes into seeing each other a reasonable amount of times within a month or over a year's time. Sometimes you need physical comfort. Sometimes you'd like to wake up on a Saturday and just meet up with them for a casual stroll through the mall. Sometimes you wish you didn't have to plan out everything that other people take for granted- like a birthday or Christmas. Distance makes that impossible; it's rough not having them around. 

6. What are the advantages of dating online?

Cheryl: You make new friends in the process and can be a place for networking
Rose: Meeting different people even if you won’t end up together.
Lena: The advantages of online dating are getting to know someone for who they truly are and having space to grow; be an individual (no smothering).

7. When meeting your online date for the first time, did you have a mental checklist?

Cheryl: Yes, I did have one…and one thing I realized is that many are not consistent with what they claimed to be, like workplace, schedules since many are just out to impress so that they get you and then you start to really get to know the real them and for me, it was not pretty.
Rose: Yes I did. Was always checking whether they lied about something they had previously told or if they fit the person I’d want to date. If the first date went bad or there’s something I found missing, I would not make any effort for a second date.
Lena: When I met my ex-boyfriend and my current boyfriend for the first time I didn't have a mental checklist. Things went very natural and smoothly in both cases. I was only nervous about how I would appear.

8. Do you think dating sites make people superficial?

Cheryl: Yes because it doesn’t give a platform to get to know people for yourself, to live and see how they interact with others and see character or a lack thereof. People are who they wish to be when it comes to online dating and not who they really are.
Rose: To some extent yes, people are grouped in different categories and we immediately go for a profile that fits what we want and dismiss others, you can’t really judge character from profiling people in terms of height, skin colour etc.
Like some sites the first thing you are asked for by anyone chatting with you are your particulars, like age, sex, location, nationality ( no time wasting)

9. From your experience, what is your overall view of dating websites or dating someone you've met online?

Cheryl: There are people who are lucky to have found love online but I wouldn’t advise it because it does come with extra challenges…though if you are meant to be, you are meant to be and you will meet your true love in many ways. Many online relationships are very artificial in general. I would advise it if you are not so serious about getting into a serious relationship maybe just for fun and for meeting new people.
Rose: I think things are changing and you can meet people through any medium just with internet you have to be extra careful because there are creepy people out there, married people looking for side affairs and the like.
Lena: My view of online dating is the same as any other kind of dating: you never know who someone really is so you have to be careful. There's no guarantee of anything, so if someone finds love online, great! If not, keep trying and keep moving. I wouldn't tell someone to put all their faith into online dating. 

10. Do you know any success relationship from online dating? (that led to marriage or long term relationship?

Cheryl: I know of friends who dated a year or two but didn’t manage to get married.
Rose: Yes, I have friends who got married to people they met online. You never know where you will find that one true love. 
Lena: I know quite a few people who met online through gaming and communities (I don't have personal testimonies from dating sites). These relationships are still going strong and some even have moved into marriage. My relationship is 2 years old and we planned to get married in the future. 

Basic safety precautions for online dating;
  • Let the first meeting be in public
  • Take your time to get to know someone. 
  • Avoid secluded areas when you meeting
  • Don't provide personal information too soon
  • On the first meeting don't leave your food or beverages unattended.
  • When going to meet your online date for the first time, let someone know your plans
  • Always trust your instincts
Check out this great article for more Safe Online Dating Tips; How To Protect Yourself While Remaining Open to Love

Are you dating someone you met online? Have tried online dating? Share your experience.


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