Posted by AfroElle On 6:19 AM
Parting ways with someone you love can be a truly devastating experience. Whether the break up is the result of a shocking infidelity or an amicable agreement, the affects can be life altering. Both parties will now have to get used to living without the other. For some letting go and moving on is extremely hard.
Here is a list of tips for surviving a break up with your sanity in tact.
Let It Out
Go ahead and scream at the top of your lungs, cry, stomp around or toss a pillow or two. Getting your release is extremely important for you to be able to move forward and be done with the past. Don’t try to be ‘strong’ and keep yourself from mourning the loss of your relationship. You will only be setting yourself up for a breakdown later. Even worse, you’ll create baggage that can be carried into your next relationship, potentially dooming it from the very start. Once you release, pull yourself up by the boot straps and prepare your heart and mind to move forward.
This is probably the hardest thing to do especially if you were the one treated wrong. Regardless of how hard it might be, it’s necessary. Moving on is impossible without it. Refusing to forgive is like taking poison and expecting someone else to die from it. Don’t give your ex that much power over your mind, body or your heart. If you were the one doing wrong, forgive yourself. Acknowledge your wrong doings, take ownership, offer a sincere apology and suck it up. It is what it is and beating yourself up over your loss won’t do anyone any good.
When your ex leaves make sure they take everything with them. Don’t allow them to leave anything behind. Also, don’t hold anything back. Holding onto things both physically and mentally won’t help you move on nor will it bring your ex back for good.
Take a personal inventory. Be honest with yourself and list all of the ways you may have contributed to the decline of your relationship. Analyze your strengths and weaknesses as a companion. Work on weeding out your problem areas. Most importantly find out what your core values are. This means determine what’s most important to you in life and in relationships. Give those core values priority when entering a new relationship.
Get Back in the Game
Put the past behind you and embrace your new life as a single person. Learn to enjoy time alone. Try new things. Explore new places. Then when you’re ready, date different types of people. Don’t get into another committed relationship too quickly. Remember to have fun.
Put these practices in place and be happily single. You will find love again.
Renee Daniel Flagler is a marketing professional, award-winning freelance writer and author of three novels, “Mountain High Valley Low,” “Miss-Guided” and “In Her Mind.” She is the relationship columnist at XI Online Magazine and the creator of www.SheBiz.net, a lifestyle blog for women pursuing their passions. Connect with Renee at Facebook, Twitter, or www.reneedanielflagler.com.