• MAN TALK
    • MARRIAGE 101
    • FAITH


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

Time flies, can you believe we are already past the half year mark? Just the other day we welcomed the New Year with long lists of resolutions. Well, the year doesn’t feel so new anymore, it’s that time of the year when energy levels sink, we get sucked into the routine of life and many times become complacent. All these are symptoms of Mid Year blues.


Posted by Editor On JULY- 18 - 2011

Growing up, I was a ‘someday girl’. I had dreams of someday publishing a book, someday working for a newspaper, someday being an editor, someday. Until one day many years later I woke up to the realization that someday was today; the only assurance we have, not 2 years from now or tomorrow but today.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

For some April habitually brings in to mind Spring; sunshine, blooming flowers, the green of trees and sliding into flip flops. For me, April is just April because luckily where I live the beauty of ‘Spring’ and getting high on Vitamin D is something I experience every day.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

As I kid, one of my all time favorite TV shows was 'The Jefferson’s'. As I write this, the theme song is playing in my head. “Well we’re movin’ on up, to the east side, moving on up, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Moving on up, to the east side, moving on up,we finally got a piece of the pie.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

February is a special month, apart from the red roses, boxes of chocolate, great deals and the romance, it’s also the month we celebrate the history and contributions of African American men and women to society in the name of Black History Month.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18- 2011

Happy New Year!Yes, I know I'm a little late on the wishes just like the way I'm late with our new January Issue but it's finally here. New year, new layout, new name, basically, new things. Its all about the new new! For all those who knew this blog as The Ladies Room, I now introduce you to AfroElle; a blog for women of afro-descent from all over the world.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

The year has literally flown by, I can't believe it's already December. To many, December is a month of in depth self evaluation and stock taking; taking that walk down memory lane to see if you accomplished the goals you set at the beginning of the year.It's also about looking at your present to see what has worked for you or what you need to eliminate before you head on to the new year.

Back to Relationship Basics

Posted by AfroElle On 11:55 PM
What is relationship?
How do we define dating, courting, engagement, and marriage?
How do we define these words and roles in modern times?
How critical are our definitions in placing our connections in the proper place?

This is a 2-part article.

Part 1: What is a relationship? How do we define this in modern times?

Part 2:How do we define dating, courting, engagement, and marriage, and how do these definitions determined our connections?

Part 1: What is a relationship?


Relationships are the foundational rocks of life. We build bonds with other people in every avenue of life. Our personal relationships sometimes dictate our professional careers and opportunities. Our friendships are representations of our favorites, interests, and personality. Our love life, one can say, is a combination of our desires, but not always a reflection of them.

As human beings, it is vital to create worthy relationships with others. However, the dynamics of these relationships are often overlooked, underappreciated, and not properly defined in order to benefit both parties.

A relationship is defined as a connection (sometimes emotional), association, or involvement between individuals. That is very broad for some of the specific interactions that we build with others. This is why it is critical for one to define the connections that they have with the people in their life.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Is this person dependable at ALL times?
• How well is “follow through” in the friendship?
• Is the friendship strong during good and rough moments?

Defining your friendship helps you put individuals into their appropriate category. Depending on your level of interaction,your friendship can be considered the following: best friends, friends, associates, and bored bonding. Bored Bonding occurs when you are searching through your contacts for someone new to connect with out of boredom.

• Ask yourself, are you obtaining what you initially desired?
• Are both parties on the same page in terms of trust, wants, future, stability, and the overall direction of the relationship?
• Is this conducive for your success?

In today’s society, media, music, literature, and environmental and suggestive circumstances often influence the romantic relationships we build with others. The places we meet individuals and our first interactions often dictate the purpose and length of the connection. It is okay to create menial relationships with others, as long as it is understood and consistent. We often expect the most out of relationships that we have yet to put the most work/value into. We must always be real with ourselves and the relationships we have in order to acquire the true things our heart desires. Make sure your goals are realistic! Make sure your relationships reflect your growth! Make sure you constantly evaluate your own expectations and your partners!

• How strong is the bond between parties? Is it consistent? Healthy?
• What grudges/past events are you holding on to? How does this change the dynamics of your interactions?
• Does your “family” encourage your success? How is this relationship productive?

Often times, we get really emotionally hung up on issues dealing with our family because we expect so much from them. However, we forget that they are not exempt from making the same human decisions as any stranger we may interact with. Because of this, it is important to be open-minded to friends and others who become “like family” and family members who become strangers. Your expectations of the relationships you foster with “family” must be examined continuously for preservation, nourishment, and overall agreeance with your personal life. Do not hesitate to approach family in the same upfront and honest manner you would approach a friend. Do not hesitate to keep your distance from family in the same manner you would from an enemy. Most importantly, do not hesitate to overthink mixing business with family.

What does this have to do with being single?

Well, first off, in order to acquire a relationship one must know what a relationship is and consists of. Every relationship should be accessed for clarity. In respect to obtaining a mate that will be fulfilling, they should go through every phase of being your friend, romantic interest, then being absorbed into your family.

Remember to set boundaries and define your relationships for yourself using your own form of measurement instead of what popular song, media, belief, or your friends may say!

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