• MAN TALK
    • MARRIAGE 101
    • FAITH


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

Time flies, can you believe we are already past the half year mark? Just the other day we welcomed the New Year with long lists of resolutions. Well, the year doesn’t feel so new anymore, it’s that time of the year when energy levels sink, we get sucked into the routine of life and many times become complacent. All these are symptoms of Mid Year blues.


Posted by Editor On JULY- 18 - 2011

Growing up, I was a ‘someday girl’. I had dreams of someday publishing a book, someday working for a newspaper, someday being an editor, someday. Until one day many years later I woke up to the realization that someday was today; the only assurance we have, not 2 years from now or tomorrow but today.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

For some April habitually brings in to mind Spring; sunshine, blooming flowers, the green of trees and sliding into flip flops. For me, April is just April because luckily where I live the beauty of ‘Spring’ and getting high on Vitamin D is something I experience every day.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

As I kid, one of my all time favorite TV shows was 'The Jefferson’s'. As I write this, the theme song is playing in my head. “Well we’re movin’ on up, to the east side, moving on up, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Moving on up, to the east side, moving on up,we finally got a piece of the pie.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

February is a special month, apart from the red roses, boxes of chocolate, great deals and the romance, it’s also the month we celebrate the history and contributions of African American men and women to society in the name of Black History Month.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18- 2011

Happy New Year!Yes, I know I'm a little late on the wishes just like the way I'm late with our new January Issue but it's finally here. New year, new layout, new name, basically, new things. Its all about the new new! For all those who knew this blog as The Ladies Room, I now introduce you to AfroElle; a blog for women of afro-descent from all over the world.


Posted by Editor On JULY - 18 - 2011

The year has literally flown by, I can't believe it's already December. To many, December is a month of in depth self evaluation and stock taking; taking that walk down memory lane to see if you accomplished the goals you set at the beginning of the year.It's also about looking at your present to see what has worked for you or what you need to eliminate before you head on to the new year.

Featured Couple: Martavis and Ashely Strickland

Posted by AfroElle On 1:32 AM

Martavis and Ashely Strickland knew each other since childhood, a record of 13 years. Martavis’s grandfather was the pastor of the church Ashley attended. The couple officially dated for 1 ½ years, were engaged for 5 months and have been married for almost 2 years.

“ We were platonic friends for years. When I first met him, I thought he was cute but I left it at that. It wasn’t until our 20’s where we noticed that there were real feelings between us. I do not know when I knew he was the one. I guess in a way I always felt he was but there was no “aha” moment. We dated for a while and we began to talk marriage. It just felt natural.” 

AE: What do you love about your husband? 

Ashley: I love that my Husband loves God. I love that he loves me and my family. I love that he is humble enough to admit he is wrong and actually takes steps to change himself to make me comfortable. He is very patient with me and allows me to be me, quirks and all. He is a genuine family man and I like that.

AE: What part of marriage do you love the most and why? 

A: I love the fact that it forces me to grow. I am an only child and marriage often reminds me that it really isn’t “all about me”. I have grown a lot being his wife. I just love the fact that I have my own family to love cherish and nurture. Marriage truly is a gift.

AE: How do you resolve conflicts and what helps you love each other when you are mad at your spouse? 

A: We resolve conflict by talking it out and resolving to makes some changes. I had to learn am learning how to let go of the little stuff. This was a problem early on for us because I’d start arguments about minor points. Another thing I love about my Husband and helped me see that he was right for me was that he always apologized first even if the argument was my fault. One thing I try to remember is that no matter how bad my Husband makes me…he isn’t the enemy. We are always on the same team. Thinking about this helps keep everything in perspective.

AE: With all the negativity, fears, challenges, how do you make your marriage work? 

A: Drum roll please. We actually want to make it work. It seems so simple but I’ve noticed that this isn’t the case with BOTH members of each marriage. We keep God in our marriage. I pray for him constantly and he does the same for me. We also have a great group of married friends that we hang out with, solo and in groups. 
This helps us to see that we aren’t the only ones dealing with certain issues and it really helps keep things in perspective. “Oh, your Husband is constantly forgetting to do the dishes too? Even after you’ve asked him 2 hours ago and he said he would? Well that’s good to know because I thought he was the only crazy man on this earth!”

AE: What is the best advice you received before you got married, that helped you through rough times or helped you prevent rough times? 

A: "Your marriage is your baby. You have to protect it and nurture it just like you would a child.”
“In a marriage, you won’t always have 50% to give and you won’t always receive 50% back. Sometimes you will only have 25% and he will compensate for the other 75%. Sometimes you will have to give 60% because all he has to give is 40%. But as long as you both always give 100% of whatever percentage you have to give and it totals 100%, your marriage will survive and thrive.”

AE:What steps do you take to make the marriage feel "alive" or "new" each day?

A: I’m very creative and I love coming up with new ways to show my Husband how much I love him. We try to spend quality time together when we can. We like to play card and board games, try new restaurants, and just hang out and enjoy each other. We also have begun to do “guys only” and “women only” outings.

AE: What advice would you give you’d like to give any newlywed or a single woman hoping to get married some day?

A: To the newlyweds: Don’t sweat the small stuff. Study and realize what your roles in marriage should really be and give it your all. Your spouse reacts off of you. If you have an attitude, more than likely, they will get one too. Lead by example, if you want romance, give romance.
One of the funniest but honest pieces of advice I got about how to keep my Husband happy was: “Remember the 3 P’s and the E: 
1. P- peace (don’t nag or keep up confusion),
2. P-piece (cook)
3. P- piece (sex) 
E- ego (make him feel like a man). I swear it’s so simple but it is THE TRUTH. 

To the single women: Tell God what you want, trust Him and his timing and leave it there. God sees he hears and He knows your desires for marriage. Use this time to work on yourself. Find out what YOU like to do. Learn the skills you will need to be a successful wife and mother; forgiveness, patience, cooking, cleaning, etc.Enjoy the moments of silence you have and the time you have to yourself, because you will miss it once you add a husband and kids to the mix.

1 Response to "Featured Couple: Martavis and Ashely Strickland"

  1. justine Said,

    I like the pieced of advice....geuse when it is time for me to get married i shall remember them.


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