Featured Couple: Sammy& Ebbie
The first thing that caught Ebbies attention when she met husband Sammy was his demeanor. “When we first met, things just seemed too good to be true. He was a clean cut guy, very well mannered, had a certain swag that I had not seen in many men I’ve previously dated, had great taste in everything and honestly blew me away from day one. I will also never forget the way he smelled. I was hooked.” Ebbie says.
Ebbie initially met Sammy when she was living in Atlanta, Georgia and Sammy in Columbia, SC. After their first meeting in person, they didn’t go more than two weeks without seeing each other. “I took so many flights and even earned elite status on a couple airlines behind our love travel, but it was all worth it in the end.” She adds.
Patricia M: How did you meet?
Ebbie: I knew Sammy when I was younger, but he had no clue who I was. He sent me a request on Facebook back in July of 2008, from there I immediately told him that I had a crush on him for about 12 years prior and we started to chat on a friendly basis. We started dating a few months later, got engaged on January 2, 2010 and got married on September 4, 2011.
PM: What parts of marriage do you love so far?
Ebbie: So far, I love how we are growing together. It was one thing to date and be engaged, but after marriage things do change. Going from two to one has been a wonderful transition and each day there is something new to learn. I am just thankful that I have a husband that I love enjoying the experience with.
Complete the Sentence
Patricia: You knew you found the love of your life when…….
Ebbie: When Sammy came into my life at the time he did. I had prayed long and hard for God to send me the man that was for me. As crazy as it seems, we really have to be careful of what we ask for. Even though I prayed for God to send me a husband, I was not doing what I needed to do. So many times I thought I had found the perfect one, but in all actuality who was I fooling? God sent him to find me. When I least expected and actually stopped searching, he came into my world. I strongly believe in reasons, seasons and lifetimes and I know that God sent Sammy to me for all three.
PM: What did you love most about your big day?
Ebbie: The best part of the whole day was when I saw my husband to be for the first time on our wedding day as I was coming down the aisle. I almost made it until I saw him start to tear up, after that it was over for me, the tears started flowing and I was a mess by the time I made it to him. It was the best feeling of my life.
PM: You rocked your natural hair in your wedding; do you have any tips for other natural hair brides as they prepare for their big day?
Ebbie: I would love to give the typical answer and say “make sure you do trial runs of your hair before your day.” However, I didn’t, I honestly let my hair be the least of my worries on that day (believe it or not) and things worked out just fine. The wedding is just a few minutes long, concentrate on the man you are about to spend the rest of your life with and enjoy the moment because it goes by so fast. Do not stress (if possible) and try not to have any negative people around you. I was surrounded by nothing but loving and supportive family/friends on my day and I would not have changed a thing if I could.
PM: How do you resolve conflicts and what helps you love each other when you are mad at your spouse?
Sammy: We do so by gaining a clear understanding of each other’s point of view and trying to come to a fair compromise. We also understand that even when we are upset it should never be to the point that our love comes in to question because our love succeeds any challenge we would ever face and that same love helps us get through tough times.
PM: What kinds of questions and inquiries are essential to ask your partner before you get married?
Sammy: There are so many things that could be asked but I think most importantly you ask about spiritual beliefs, children, career choices, family values and their interest. What are they passionate about?
PM: With all the negativity, fears, challenges, how do you plan on making your marriage work?
Sammy: First, we understand there will be challenges and tough times because all marriages have them but we have a lot vested and want to make sure that we considers our spouse every step of this matrimonial journey . We also know that we will not be able to make this work if God is not the center of our relationship. Making sure that our spiritual relationship continues to grow will allow our marriage to continue to grow as well.
Nuggets of Wisdom
PM: What is the best advice you received before you got married to prepare you for any rough periods in marriage?
Sammy: Always remember that I am now living for more than just myself and that I always have to consider my partner’s needs as I consider mine. Also to know that forgiveness and patience will be fundamentals of our relationship and through prayer we can overcome any challenge.
PM: What advice would you give you’d like to give any newlywed or a single woman hoping to get married some day?
Sammy: I would tell them to start by loving themselves and make sure that they are what they want. They should strive to be the kind of person that they want in return. To newlyweds I encourage marriage counseling. I also believe that newlyweds and even seasoned couples should always make time for date night and QT (quality time) with your mate. This means no children, family or friends, just the two of you being able to enjoy each other. I would tell single women to just work on themselves and not to try to find someone, but instead allow God to bring the right person in your life. Be patient.